Since I have read numerous post about what men need to do I figured hey why not return the kind favor. The hard part is women will write back with all kinds of rebuttals which is a HUGE problem, can't tell y'all nothin'! LOL
1 - Listen before you respond. I mean really listen. Don't hear what was said before or what you thought we meant, listen to what we are saying right now.
2 - Stay on point. An anecdote is just that, a story to illustrate the actual topic, not a new topic to argue about. This is where most arguments end in Chris Brown episodes.
3 - Be a woman. Not meek or weak, but soft, feminine, thoughtful, emotional and caring. We spend our entire existence fighting men on various levels, comparing egos, bashing our heads together like rams on the plains, the last thing we want to do is bang heads with our women as if they are men. You will kill us easier with kindness, I promise.
4 - Know the difference between a man and a pretender. Just because he has a penis does not make him a man. Just because he does not fight does not mean he is not strong or tough. Just because he fights does not mean he is strong or tough.
5 - Something the fellas were discussing today, stop running up on us like you can physically beat us down. You get one of these pretenders and it is all bad for you. You get a man and you will lose him. Women were "blessed" with a mouthpiece no man can match. Your weapon is far more powerful than our fist, trust me, I am a man, I know from experience. We hear you and we remember. Which brings me to...
6 - Be careful what you use as a verbal weapon with your man. Pushing his buttons may make you feel better in a fight but it will cause irreparable damage to your relationship no matter the outcome of the argument. In relationships, us cretins trust our women with information we would never tell anyone else. TRUST. We trust you to protect our soft spots as you expect us to trust yours. When you strike at those trusted issues, we rarely forget it and for the rest of our relationship it shapes how we respond to you. Most of us want comfort, and your man is most comfortable when he can trust you with his ego, his house ( not the physical house), and his secrets. Break that trust and you will spend your days being asked stupid questions like "Where are you going?" when all you did was switch positions on the couch. :)
7 - Make sure you and he are partners. A two way street. This is huge in this day and age. We have been taught to be independent entities that only co exist. This is why the divorce rate is so high. Men and women have ceased being partners in crime. He should be the Clyde to your Bonnie and you the Bonnie to his Clyde. Partners through thick and thin. but see this only works when the thick and thin our shared, when thick and thin are only shared after they become a thick and thin it is a recipe for mass destruction.
8 - Be you. Man I am telling you, us men love a woman that is unafraid to be herself. When we are the only ones allowed to get beyond the wall, you have us hooked for life! There's nothing worse than a woman that tries to change for the man she is with. Another recipe for disaster.
9 - Love yourself.
10 - Take all of this with a grain of salt. I could be 100% wrong. Seriously. I doubt I am but I am not foolish enough to think otherwise. :)
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Expectations - A Cautionary Tale
I woke up and this one just will not settle down. I pride myself on staying on the high ground as best I can, and that means knowing when to say something and when not to. Today I will split the difference with a disclaimer, no names will be used to protect the guilty.
A person spends their entire career, whether that is track or otherwise, striving to reach the level of expectations that define success. It is hard work and in some cases, a labor of love with the belief that when you get there it will all pay off, figuratively and literally. This is what gets us all up in the morning, and drives us through the trials of training and grunt work. The thought that when you put it all together you will reap the benefits. Not in track.
In track you work for the pennies that are out there and believe when you get that medal or run that time or win those races that the business will turn in your favor and pay you. When you win that medal you expect to be the star and garner the support of sport. Not in track.
The cruelest aspect is the dishonest business of cutting people who have won medals that year. Dishonest is the exact word that fits here. We are all told and accept that this is the business we work in, however that does not make it honest. Many athletes run around for year wearing the free uniform a company once offered them, with the implied and sometimes explicit promise that dollars will follow their charity tot he company. It is really sticky when you find athletes that stray and wear generic gear only to be told later that they did not support the mainstream company and have no brand recognition so they will not be signed. That's called blackmail and collusion. When you win an Olympic medal you are a recognized face that is to cash in on that ultimate of successes. Not in track.
Win an Olympic medal, get a shoe contract. This is the baseline sell of track and field. Again, not in track.
I have been on the track in some form for all 38 years of my life. I have been coaching for the last 17 years. It is safe to say I am committed to this and love this. Today I am pissed off and disappointed. More disappointed. I wrote this to share some thoughts and to point out to all of you, be about your business with a long term outlook that includes more than running and the shoe companies. I will attack it with energy and not be swayed by the disappointments, but neither will I stay silent on these important issues any longer. You have to make it happen because no one out there is trying to bring it to you, even when you have done all the things that were asked of you. All the things that have been outlined in the blueprint of success in track. I will see you all in the sun. Do your due diligence
A person spends their entire career, whether that is track or otherwise, striving to reach the level of expectations that define success. It is hard work and in some cases, a labor of love with the belief that when you get there it will all pay off, figuratively and literally. This is what gets us all up in the morning, and drives us through the trials of training and grunt work. The thought that when you put it all together you will reap the benefits. Not in track.
In track you work for the pennies that are out there and believe when you get that medal or run that time or win those races that the business will turn in your favor and pay you. When you win that medal you expect to be the star and garner the support of sport. Not in track.
The cruelest aspect is the dishonest business of cutting people who have won medals that year. Dishonest is the exact word that fits here. We are all told and accept that this is the business we work in, however that does not make it honest. Many athletes run around for year wearing the free uniform a company once offered them, with the implied and sometimes explicit promise that dollars will follow their charity tot he company. It is really sticky when you find athletes that stray and wear generic gear only to be told later that they did not support the mainstream company and have no brand recognition so they will not be signed. That's called blackmail and collusion. When you win an Olympic medal you are a recognized face that is to cash in on that ultimate of successes. Not in track.
Win an Olympic medal, get a shoe contract. This is the baseline sell of track and field. Again, not in track.
I have been on the track in some form for all 38 years of my life. I have been coaching for the last 17 years. It is safe to say I am committed to this and love this. Today I am pissed off and disappointed. More disappointed. I wrote this to share some thoughts and to point out to all of you, be about your business with a long term outlook that includes more than running and the shoe companies. I will attack it with energy and not be swayed by the disappointments, but neither will I stay silent on these important issues any longer. You have to make it happen because no one out there is trying to bring it to you, even when you have done all the things that were asked of you. All the things that have been outlined in the blueprint of success in track. I will see you all in the sun. Do your due diligence
Monday, February 16, 2009
This week in track and world
Wow. That's all that comes to mind. It is my usual lead in to what I want to say while I think about what I want to say. Wow.
NBA All star events were terrific. I listen to talk radio and I think people take themselves way too seriously sometimes. It was fun, it had entertainment, and the stars did their thing. My lasting memory is Dwight Howard hopping up to the 12 foot rim as if it was at 8 feet. I listen to the maysayers, "Oh he is 7 feet tall!" as if that makes 12 feet any closer to the ground. Let me tell you something, dunking at 12 feet is a beast. It has been the test height in the NBA for decades and very few have been able to jump that high, let alone dunk a basketball that high. He touched the rim so easily. Then dunked it off a backboard pass. And then there was the side of the backboard dunk. If you do not know please youtube it.
Meanwhile I am disgusted that Nate won. He used boosters on his last 2 dunks. Whack! his best dunk was his first one, and it was all of that! One bounce, catch, to the shoe tops, reverse flush from an 5'8" man. That was sweet.
If you are a Lakers hater or blind Lakers fan you will not feel me on this next point. Jerry Buss punked out and cost me at least 2 more ring runs. He let it get personal and traded Shaq. I am still mad about it. If you watched them play last night you see why the Big Aristotle calls them the best big man/small man duo ever. Kobe 27, Shaq 22 (in 11 minutes). I had that every week, now I am hoping the Lakers stay healthy so Kobe can lead them to the top. Pissed off about it.
On the track, Isinbayeva OPENED her season with a wr. That would be a five meter opening competition. Whatever, they have figured out, I want to know. Can you imagine opening your campaign with a wr???
Hooker goes 6 meters again.
Lolo is still dominating the spot.
Vlasic goes over 2 meters for the hundredthousandmillionth time in a row, and LOSES! The women's high jump is a very good event.
Tasha is not running Birmingham now. I am disappointed, but as I said it is indoors. No skin lost.
It rained today. It was 50 degrees. It was windy. Check out my FB page to see how we handled that. I am telling you guys it is cold out here.
See you guys out doors. I am sure there was something else I wanted to say, wait, oh I got it.
Barack is killing me right now. He made me a promise and I expect him to keep it. Partisan politics are what he sore to avoid, yet he gave one of the most partisan speeches I have ever heard. And his whack stimulus package is just that, whack. Not enough things to STIMULATE the economy, but a whole load of social programs to improve the quality of life. Just not the time for it, we are in need of specific things right now, and $75 million for anti smoking is not it.
Yup that's all for now
NBA All star events were terrific. I listen to talk radio and I think people take themselves way too seriously sometimes. It was fun, it had entertainment, and the stars did their thing. My lasting memory is Dwight Howard hopping up to the 12 foot rim as if it was at 8 feet. I listen to the maysayers, "Oh he is 7 feet tall!" as if that makes 12 feet any closer to the ground. Let me tell you something, dunking at 12 feet is a beast. It has been the test height in the NBA for decades and very few have been able to jump that high, let alone dunk a basketball that high. He touched the rim so easily. Then dunked it off a backboard pass. And then there was the side of the backboard dunk. If you do not know please youtube it.
Meanwhile I am disgusted that Nate won. He used boosters on his last 2 dunks. Whack! his best dunk was his first one, and it was all of that! One bounce, catch, to the shoe tops, reverse flush from an 5'8" man. That was sweet.
If you are a Lakers hater or blind Lakers fan you will not feel me on this next point. Jerry Buss punked out and cost me at least 2 more ring runs. He let it get personal and traded Shaq. I am still mad about it. If you watched them play last night you see why the Big Aristotle calls them the best big man/small man duo ever. Kobe 27, Shaq 22 (in 11 minutes). I had that every week, now I am hoping the Lakers stay healthy so Kobe can lead them to the top. Pissed off about it.
On the track, Isinbayeva OPENED her season with a wr. That would be a five meter opening competition. Whatever, they have figured out, I want to know. Can you imagine opening your campaign with a wr???
Hooker goes 6 meters again.
Lolo is still dominating the spot.
Vlasic goes over 2 meters for the hundredthousandmillionth time in a row, and LOSES! The women's high jump is a very good event.
Tasha is not running Birmingham now. I am disappointed, but as I said it is indoors. No skin lost.
It rained today. It was 50 degrees. It was windy. Check out my FB page to see how we handled that. I am telling you guys it is cold out here.
See you guys out doors. I am sure there was something else I wanted to say, wait, oh I got it.
Barack is killing me right now. He made me a promise and I expect him to keep it. Partisan politics are what he sore to avoid, yet he gave one of the most partisan speeches I have ever heard. And his whack stimulus package is just that, whack. Not enough things to STIMULATE the economy, but a whole load of social programs to improve the quality of life. Just not the time for it, we are in need of specific things right now, and $75 million for anti smoking is not it.
Yup that's all for now
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Perspective
Last year I quoted a classic "He who run fast in April get ass kicked in August!" It was our running joke back in the day as we watched folks run fast early and disappear during money time or fold up. This weekend brings me full circle, AGAIN!
I sent my girl Tasha over the lake to run indoors. She ran the 800 at her national meet. For those that do not know she is a 400 hurdler. And for those who have forgotten, she is a 400 hurdler. We chose the 800 because it fits what we are doing right now and allows her the chance to run indoors and show her face to her fans.
The result was a good 2:12 for her. Not impressive when compared to the half milers mind you but I am pleased. See competitive fire aside, this is her first indoor race since 1995, her first indoor 800 ever, and we did not break training for this. She is not trying to make the indoor team, so in my eyes all is going to plan. Outdoors that's worth about 2:10, so for her fourth 800 in her life I have very little to complain about.
Tasha and I seem to be the only ones with reality in mind. Articles are written and people are talking as if she is a half miler that struggled out there. No it was not the quality run we wanted but it carries no weight as far as long term goals go. She is healthy, she is fit as she is going to be right now, and we got a great gauge on where she is. We did not plan to go out and beat the big girls, if that were case we would be looking at an event change, as some tried to intimate.
For clarity to all, there's no event change. She enjoys running the event, it relates well to her pet event, and she wanted to run an indoor race. She got the chance to see her fans and not fall into the marketing black hole of track stars.
Too often medalists disappear from the track landscape and become irrelevant, never getting the chance to take advantage of the opportunities presented by that success. This is the message I want to get out. We have to work at pushing the product and not wait for the machine to work for you. There is no machine, therefore you have to go get it. You have to make sure the fans see you, the papers interview you, and your brand is visible. All while doing what got you that chance, run.
Make a plan, set it in motion and remember what it is while never forgetting we run to win medals and earn a living. Let everyone play their roles, maintain the brain trust, they will love you when you win in August. My mantra right now, "It is FEBRUARY!" Keep it in pocket.
Oh so none of you feel slighted, good work to everyone doing their thing indoors, more than one way to success.
I sent my girl Tasha over the lake to run indoors. She ran the 800 at her national meet. For those that do not know she is a 400 hurdler. And for those who have forgotten, she is a 400 hurdler. We chose the 800 because it fits what we are doing right now and allows her the chance to run indoors and show her face to her fans.
The result was a good 2:12 for her. Not impressive when compared to the half milers mind you but I am pleased. See competitive fire aside, this is her first indoor race since 1995, her first indoor 800 ever, and we did not break training for this. She is not trying to make the indoor team, so in my eyes all is going to plan. Outdoors that's worth about 2:10, so for her fourth 800 in her life I have very little to complain about.
Tasha and I seem to be the only ones with reality in mind. Articles are written and people are talking as if she is a half miler that struggled out there. No it was not the quality run we wanted but it carries no weight as far as long term goals go. She is healthy, she is fit as she is going to be right now, and we got a great gauge on where she is. We did not plan to go out and beat the big girls, if that were case we would be looking at an event change, as some tried to intimate.
For clarity to all, there's no event change. She enjoys running the event, it relates well to her pet event, and she wanted to run an indoor race. She got the chance to see her fans and not fall into the marketing black hole of track stars.
Too often medalists disappear from the track landscape and become irrelevant, never getting the chance to take advantage of the opportunities presented by that success. This is the message I want to get out. We have to work at pushing the product and not wait for the machine to work for you. There is no machine, therefore you have to go get it. You have to make sure the fans see you, the papers interview you, and your brand is visible. All while doing what got you that chance, run.
Make a plan, set it in motion and remember what it is while never forgetting we run to win medals and earn a living. Let everyone play their roles, maintain the brain trust, they will love you when you win in August. My mantra right now, "It is FEBRUARY!" Keep it in pocket.
Oh so none of you feel slighted, good work to everyone doing their thing indoors, more than one way to success.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Today
Yesterday the Project 30 report came out and the track world is abuzz with talk about USATF reform.
I will read the report today but my insatiable need to summarize has me speaking on it now. And later.
I read an article from the Register Guard in Oregon and the author summed up a feeling I had, the teleconference, and the various articles I have read tell me that the same opinion held before the report was confirmed by the report. Not to say this is impossible, but it comes off as more of an affirmation of preconceived notions rather than a genuine conclusion of the findings.
The relay program is recommended to be scraped and replaced with the same program that preceded it, which is what led to the call for a new program. Come on!
More after I read more...
I will read the report today but my insatiable need to summarize has me speaking on it now. And later.
I read an article from the Register Guard in Oregon and the author summed up a feeling I had, the teleconference, and the various articles I have read tell me that the same opinion held before the report was confirmed by the report. Not to say this is impossible, but it comes off as more of an affirmation of preconceived notions rather than a genuine conclusion of the findings.
The relay program is recommended to be scraped and replaced with the same program that preceded it, which is what led to the call for a new program. Come on!
More after I read more...
Monday, February 9, 2009
The Kid
He is 4 now. And he is a spark plug. He goes and goes and goes. His mum is wishing for an on/off switch after 730PM, and that is the exact time he gets going. Now our place is not huge but it is not small either, I know because he runs and hops all over it. LMAO He is a ball to watch, he enjoys life, not like a kid but like a free spirit. He is an only child and needs no one to entertain himself (like his mum and grandma). He does the things I used to think about when I was his age, to embarrassed or reserved to let people see me "act a fool". Hahahahaha. That's my son Jaden, and I never want him to change he is too much fun. He can sing/rap/dance in just one show.
We finally got some rain, I am not amused, entertained or happy. 2 things I do not like, rain and cold, and it has been both. However, it has provided a natural break in training. Just in time for a transition in cycles. ;)
While the Cardinals could not pull off my predicted upset (so close), my Lakers have run through the NBA this week. We are the team to beat. Just like the good old days (that would be the 80s for you youngsters). I could not resist texting Paul Doyle bright and early Friday morning. Shout out to Shawn Crawford for having court side seats right behind the Celtics bench, and Steve Hooker.
Now I wait for the playoffs because that's all that matters to me.
Good luck to all you indoor runners, stay healthy.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
President Obama
I wrote this wonderful blog on my phone and was unable to post it, so here is the revised version.
It is official, Barack Obama is the President of the United States (POTUS). Sweet! A very proud moment in history.
NOW, here is what I have to say. There are no more excuses. No one should be saying they cannot believe this day ever came. More importantly I do not have to worry about my children facing the insinuation that there is something they cannot do in life. If you think carefully, no one ever told you that you could not be president, it was actual us saying things such as, "One day you could be president" that led to the belief that we had roadblocks there. Unless you are 45 or older, you have not faced any obstacles to your success, especially if you were raised in the West.
Now while some of you are sitting there feeling I have rained on the parade, let me come around the mountain. I am delighted! I love the satisfaction folks like my parents, my uncle, and Brooks Johnson feel. See they lived through the stuff we have watched on TV. It is not a black and white image, the blood is not some different shade of gray, it was red. Emmit Till is not a still image in a casket, it was real and scary. The Watts Riots were not a documentary, my parents lived right there, my uncle was in school when those murders happened and Angela Davis was arrested. They fought for this day and loved through the bullshit that was our society in the 60s.
I want to give a big shout to my man Brooks and his new blog. He brings such history and knowledge to the table. You never realize what it means to be honest until you meet someone that is truly honest. He minces no words or opinions. I appreciate it, and I tend to agree with 95% of everything he says. www.spikesandflats.com
Oh track? Training is going well for everyone. I expect good seasons for all. And there are a few surprises in store for a few out there.
Here comes indoor season. Folks are on their way. We will sit out here and watch the festivities from afar.
It is official, Barack Obama is the President of the United States (POTUS). Sweet! A very proud moment in history.
NOW, here is what I have to say. There are no more excuses. No one should be saying they cannot believe this day ever came. More importantly I do not have to worry about my children facing the insinuation that there is something they cannot do in life. If you think carefully, no one ever told you that you could not be president, it was actual us saying things such as, "One day you could be president" that led to the belief that we had roadblocks there. Unless you are 45 or older, you have not faced any obstacles to your success, especially if you were raised in the West.
Now while some of you are sitting there feeling I have rained on the parade, let me come around the mountain. I am delighted! I love the satisfaction folks like my parents, my uncle, and Brooks Johnson feel. See they lived through the stuff we have watched on TV. It is not a black and white image, the blood is not some different shade of gray, it was red. Emmit Till is not a still image in a casket, it was real and scary. The Watts Riots were not a documentary, my parents lived right there, my uncle was in school when those murders happened and Angela Davis was arrested. They fought for this day and loved through the bullshit that was our society in the 60s.
I want to give a big shout to my man Brooks and his new blog. He brings such history and knowledge to the table. You never realize what it means to be honest until you meet someone that is truly honest. He minces no words or opinions. I appreciate it, and I tend to agree with 95% of everything he says. www.spikesandflats.com
Oh track? Training is going well for everyone. I expect good seasons for all. And there are a few surprises in store for a few out there.
Here comes indoor season. Folks are on their way. We will sit out here and watch the festivities from afar.
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