Nothing can be so heavy

So it was cold today. Yes I know I live in LA and I have no idea what cold is. Well, someone from Ohio even admitted it was cold out today, and it is raining for special effects. So suffice it to say it was not a chipper day.
You ever notice how your worst thoughts come out on dreary days. Why is that? You go to bed happy or at least content, then you wake up to clouds and you feel your whole body make the necessary adjustments to the pending depression. LOL Here I am running practice filling like I am in quicksand. Yelling instructions around the track and thinking who has a gun so I can end this misery. Then came the wind and the rain! GREAT I feel a lot better now. Did I mention I was cold?
The worst part is everyone has questions, I mean it is practice right? So now I have to think about someone else for a few moments of my misery. How dare you all intrude on my self flagellation, I was busy having a wonderful time wallowing and making me feel worse. Thank God for small miracles, the more I talked the better I felt.
Then practice ended and there was nothing.
Nothing can be so heavy at times. Dreary and cold, and I am sleepy. The perfect mix for happiness right? Well, it is for some but not this kid.

Okk now that I have shared my sadness, let me close with something worth reading. I went to a function this weekend. It was a black business affair, I was in the room with some of the most successful black people in the country and the affair was for kids. I cannot tell you how special it was for me to be there and how divine it is. It is a program started by a friend from college that I have kept in touch with but we have never done business, or talked it beyond the passing, "We need to get together!" Well circumstances that can only be labeled as ordained brought us together at this time and believe me when I say I am so proud of him. My wife was blown away, and I am pleased that our friendship is fostering a business relationship now. I am not mincing words when I tell you this partnership is saving my sanity and possibly my conscious life. As we all know nothing can be crushing when you are a man trying to nurture and care for your family. Your mind thinks all angles and goes to extreme lengths to appease the natural urge to protect. I am happy, in some small corner of my heart there remains God, keeping me standing, only God is keeping me up. Thank you.

I will keep you guys posted. Things around me are in transition I am positive it is a good thing happening, I am waiting for the revelation that will show me what I feel is in existence. Ok i am stopping this blog because it is depressing me, too cold and dreary tonight.